You're at a friends house, sister or brother's house, walking through the mall, looking at the adorable baby clothes on a rack - wherever you are it hits you, as does it in EVERY woman on this planet. You want a baby. I had it and every girlfriend that I have has the same exact feeling. You feel this overwhelming urge to either get a husband or take your husband home immediately and work on having a baby.

My husband and I tried for 5 years to have a baby. The baby fever was so strong inside of my body that I could barely contain myself. When someone I knew had a baby I stalked them so I could live through them. I remember holding my nephew and knew I had to change myself and do something different.

I knew that there was something wrong with me because of the fact that I hadn't become pregnant in 4 years. It was time to make a change in my life, so I did (post to come later), and became pregnant. I was amazed every step of the way of being pregnant. I imagined the most perfect time giving birth to my son, naturally, breastfeeding, and raising him.

WOW... it is SO much different than that! You can read my birth story to see what happened but it was so much different. I remember people would be like it's so much work but let me tell you:

If you are trying to have a child get as much sleep as you can now because YOU WILL NOT GET ANY WHEN YOUR LITTLE BUNDLE OF JOY IS BORN!

Now, I am writing this as my little man, 5 months old now, is jumping around with one sock on because he kicked the other one off, razzing up a storm, staring at me with this absolutely beautiful wet, slobbery smile, and allowing me to write this right now. With that said, it is worth all of the work because he is AMAZING! He is perfect!

I remember though when he was about 3 weeks old asking -- actually sobbing -- that I could do this and he replied, which ticked me off something fierce, "Well? Do you want to return him?!" That's where we were. We were running on about 4 hours of sleep all broken up. I would be breastfeeding and he would kick me when I fell asleep because he would fall asleep if I did and vice versa. That was our days and nights. They were all nights. Dealing with postpartum issues, breastfeeding issues, and no sleep was so stinkin' hard! It was groundhog's day each day for the following 2 months. It was after 2 months that he started sleeping through the night (AHH!! BEST NIGHT EVERRRRR!).

So -- pretty much all I am trying to say is it is SOO much more work than you can ever imagine. But, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, especially if you have family, which I didn't and still don't, to help. It gets better. I have sleep now, eh's happy, doesn't nurse every 1 1/2 hours. I just am putting it out there that it is a lot of work - not to be depressive but to express that it was hard but it is a challenge that ANYONE can get through.

:) Lauren

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